Self-Help Stop

Alignment coaching is an action-oriented methodology; understanding the self is a vehicle to inspired action. Santana Inniss

Are you struggling to reach a goal? Do you feel stuck, lost, frustrated or unmotivated? Are you procrastinating more than usual? It may be because what you’re doing, or trying to do, is not aligned with who you are.

Misalignment can feel uncomfortable. It may bring up feelings of shame and despondency. You might even feel unwell. If so, your inner values, thoughts, and beliefs may be in conflict with your outer life: goals, behaviors, relationships, career, and how you spend your time when not working.

I know that, at first, alignment may be difficult to wrap your brain around. When your inner and outer lives are not in sync it’s like when your car is out of alignment. You can’t take your hands off the wheel because the car will not drive in a straight line. It pulls you left or right off your path and you have to tug the wheel to keep yourself on the road. The more out of alignment your car is the harder you have to work to keep it on the road.

This is what life alignment is like. When you align inner values and beliefs with outer goals and actions, you won’t be fighting with the wheel to stay on your path. But this analogy is a simplification, and a coach is not a mechanic. In this analogy, coaches are more like engineers who focus on safety and design. Alignment coaching helps you uncover your authentic self, your guiding star. Together, you can match all aspects of your life such as career, relationships, everything you do, to your values, beliefs, and thoughts.

While misalignment may be difficult to  recognize, you’ll know when you are in alignment. You stop feeling stuck. You get into “the zone” or in “flow” with everything. Flow, according to psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, is a state of consciousness where you experience creativity, true happiness, and immersion in your best life. You find your purpose. My purpose is to love, always be learning and to share what I discover about life and being human. It has led to a very interesting life!

When you align your life, you come home to yourself.  Many of us feel disconnected from who we were as a child. I was a sunny, happy child always smiling, riding my bike and climbing trees. Life changes us and not always in good ways. After working on my own alignment, I became my childlike self again but with the compassion, empathy and kindness I learned as an adult through sorrow, pain, and suffering.

When you are united in your inner and outer worlds you can accept yourself as you are. You will find it’s okay that you’re not perfect and you’re not who others expect you to be. Another part of aligning involves changing your mindset. With growth and change-oriented mindsets, you will be able to navigate change, manage emotions and meet challenges more effectively. You will uncover your true self which allows you to see your aligned life path. You can make progress toward your dreams!

Creating Alignment

Becoming aligned is a process, a journey of self-discovery that is unique to each individual’s needs. It can include some or all of the following.

• Assess your values to determine your top 5 values.
• Evaluate your life for Values Alignment.
• Establish goals that are in line with values & make a plan for achieving one goal at a time.
• Increase self-care as change requires a lot of energy.
• Change your mindset and challenge limiting thoughts & beliefs, learn to manage emotions and change efficiently.

Don’t be overwhelmed by that list. Even if you identify your values and examine your life for what is out of alignment, you can only work on one goal at a time. Starting small is a key to success. Additionally, alignment work is very flexible. It doesn’t need to be done all at once or even in a particular order.

Dip your toes in the water by developing a growth mindset or go all in on changing limiting thoughts and beliefs, learning to navigate change with clarity and intention, and managing your emotions more effectively. Take an assessment and let that sink in for a while before acting upon the information. Do what you can with your able to do in this moment. Remember that life is a journey, not a sprint, and that you live only in the present moment and want it to be joyful, meaningful, and fulfilling. Avoid judgements and putting pressure on yourself. Focus instead on self-compassion, self-care, and get support from a friend, life coach, or therapist.